illuminatic Signs: “BABY MOM GETS POOP SMEARED ALL OVER DOOR”..LMAO

When your six-months pregnant girlfriend steals your cellphone the only logical response is to take off all your clothes in the elevator of her building, poop on the floor outside her apartment, smear the poop on her door and then light it on fire while screaming “I’m the devil,” right? Riiiight. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, Staten Islanders do the craziest things. Did we mention the pyro pooper in this story is named Rasheen (Illuminati) Harrison?

Apparently Illuminati got so angry early last Sunday morning that he did in fact strip, defecate and ignite in the hallway outside of his girlfriend’s apartment while she and her two children were trapped inside. When police got to the scene the still-naked Illuminati (with “the evidence on his hands”) didn’t even deny it. “Yeah, I did it,” he allegedly told police. “She stole my cell phone. I had a yellow lighter. I set it on fire.“

Illuminati was later taken to a precinct (“where, a law enforcement source said, he defecated a second time”) and was charged with second-degree arson, third- and fourth-degree criminal mischief, five counts each of second-degree reckless endangerment and third-degree menacing, and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child according to the DA’s office. The charred remains of his poop are still on his baby mama’s door.

This has to be the funniest story I have heard in a long while. It happened out in Staten Island courtesy of Rasheen (Illuminati) Harrison. And who said the Illuminati powers are not strong?  I would have it delivered on the weekend my son or daughter is with me, ahha. Rasheen, a feast sponsored by the Baby Daddy Association will be held in your honor, sir.
Deano